New Year's Resolutions

New Year’s resolutions… most people still go about the business of making these. For myself, I have several goals for the year; of course, surviving another year in the jungle is a given. Furthermore, I want to get more organized, continue with my anthropological exploration, as well as furthering my academic studies; This will require a trip to a more civilized village which I find myself fantasizing about often. 

The natives appear to have other resolutions for me, with diet at the top of the list. I had resolved to eating healthier and in better moderation this year, however the natives feel I should be on more of a “crash diet”. They work in synchronization to make sure that not a single morsel of food touches my lips. The eldest will plot a distraction, requesting additional libations, needing assistance in the other room, or if all else fails simply throwing vivacious temper-tantrums; a behavior he has mastered many times over. Meanwhile the younger native will seize this opportunity to consume whatever was on my plate before my attention has shifted back to eating. He has even been known to dump the remainder of my portions into the sink or waste receptacle in order to keep me from eating. While I appreciate their vigor in keeping me on track it would be nice to be allowed a meal every now and again.

The youngest has seemed to take the lead on the charge in this particular attack. If I attempt to eat at my desk with the gate closed he finds creative and effective methods to keep me from doing so. Everything from shooting foam cannon balls at me from their replica pirate ship, to simply jumping up and down pulling at the gate screaming, “HAVE SOME?!”. While I realize it is not best to give in to such behavior I challenge you to try to eat while this is going on.

I have yet to determine if this is their own resolution for me or if it is simply one of their series of planned attacks to gain total power of the jungle. Whatever the case I am sad to report I am quite hungry, but on the plus size I suppose my garments are fitting a little better.


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