Occasionally it becomes necessary to venture out of
the jungle into the land of the big people. Typically when this happens I will
leave the natives in the good care of the saintly visitors, “Grandma and Papa.” Sometimes, it is necessary for the natives to make the journey with me.
Last week I had to make such a journey to meet with a
gathering of caretakers in the land of the big people. The gathering took place
in an enclosed conference room with a lovely section in the corner of the room
for the natives to play whilst the meeting took place. At first all went very
nicely. The natives played quietly with the assortment of toys, they snacked on
the food I had brought with us and colored in their notepads.
It was not until the natives had lured me into a false state
of comfort that I heard one of the caretakers start to chuckle. Before I knew
it the room had shifted their attention from the topics at hand to the small
native in the corner of the room who was no longer snacking and coloring but
instead was rapidly stripping himself stark naked. Before I could stop him he
announced quite loudly that he had to "pee-pee" and marched himself to the bathroom
at the other side of the conference room to take care of business. (You see
back in the jungle the young native is allowed to run around sans-loincloth for
ease-of-training purposes. Apparently I should have explained that out in public this is
not the correct form in which to relive oneself.)
I had hoped this would be the end of the native’s displays.
Unfortunately he then decided that being free of clothing was quite wonderful
and saw no reason to re-dress. My insistence on the matter only sparked ear
piercing screams from the young creature that could surely be heard throughout the
entire campus. It took the promise of a libation for good behavior to coax the
native back into clothing for the remainder of the meeting. Alas, another
lesson learned for this caretaker; always be very specific when explaining the
rules of potty training and clothing to natives. Oh, and, whenever humanly possible, leave them with the saintly ones…
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